Regarding Reborn
On rest and finding the rhythm once again.
There is always a push, enforced and/or not, to be reborn; to find a way back to yourself - whatever that means. It could happen on every birthday or after releasing yourself from a draining situation, e.g bad relationship (s), toxic job (s), a tight deadline, or any hit-the-bottom and traumatic experience. But a reborn does not come in an instant. I wish it could be as easy as waking up and feeling new after a good sleep. The thing is to be reborn means to have a rest. In this economy, my friend, rest is a luxury. It should not, but alas, it is. Only the upper middle class would say, “Choose the lifestyle you want, the work you want, and make it enough”. The slow and mindful approach to rest, often, is just an exercise of privilege. To be a mother that can afford a nanny or a partner/family member that helps is a privilege - financially and mentally. To be a busy woman (or a person) that orders food from an app is a privilege. To be an elder woman with a family or a nurse that takes care of you is also a privilege. But how can we reclaim a little bit of rest in order to make anew?
Is having a goal essential to be reborn? Or will it be just like another resolution that you’ll forget in a month?
Personally, I don’t think I need a goal to be reborn, to start afresh, or to make a new of myself. Man, God knows how long those lists I made when I was 20 that I forgot after a week. Did I finally pay my college tuition on time? No. Did I go to more shows? No. But I went on many dates (lol). Did I save enough money? Kind of - but also I took train and bus rides every weekend to other towns and cities. Now, almost 30s, I have given up on the idea of resolutions and goals for the sake of restarting my life. I do think that having a goal sometimes just hinders you from doing something. It’s the thought of having a certain foundation to step that might as well stay until you realize that you are never ready for the step, the jump. In another word, it’s anxiety.
Does it take a certain period of time? What is the ideal time to rest?
Yes. Everything takes time, especially rest. But to answer the question of the exact time is not a straightforward answer as one has to set their priority first. Some might need to finish some tasks first or delegate the tasks to someone else. Some might need to communicate with certain people about this. At last, some might need to reassure themselves how much time they can buy to rest. Ah, what a notion: buying time…
How do we make the best of this time - even if it’s just a little?
The ideal perspective should be we, as an individual, is the one that governs ourselves; not possessed by time. It is us that bring our own independence with our ability to take risks; no new work, no new experiences, no new friends, and no new materials. By taking a rest, everything is put to pause. Putting a pause on life means reducing your standards; not for the aim to reach further, to grow bigger, to run faster. It’s just simply to reduce so you can rest. I think the thought of taking a rest to aim bigger and further is a form of greed - and people think it’s not fair when you have to reduce your standard for nothing. It’s just an illusion that you have to have more. Same as the idea of going on a luxurious vacation with the aim to work harder and get more money so you can afford a more luxurious vacation.
What is possible to do is probably to take a little rest on a daily basis. To take a walk for 30 minutes, make your own tea or coffee - first thing in the morning and in the middle of the day, have a long bath, and have a meal for yourself; for one. It's this little thing that lets you breathe, frees you, and takes you a little further from daily depression. Probably that’s what it is, daily depression.
I guess, this is what we essentially want; we just want to indulge ourselves.
Every single time that we indulge ourselves, that’s when we are reborn; find something new in us.
