Ache, with a bowl of Sop Brenebon.

For some, getting through the holidays means figuring out how to celebrate and who to celebrate with. And Sop Brenebon might be the way to celebrate; to ease ache, too.

This impromptu newsletter is the last one for this year from Dapur Saraswati. If you like it and want more like it in your inbox, consider subscribing. Read last month’s newsletter here. Check my highlight Natal Spread to see food served during Christmas celebration in Indonesia. I’m wishing you a good time to end this year and to begin the new one!

Not everybody enjoys celebrations. Not everybody has the skill to celebrate. Growing up in a family that didn’t do much celebration, I’ve found it hard to get excited over birthdays and family gatherings. My family is small and the fraction of mine was different over years - people come and go, so did my own family member. If I could count on all the possibilities of why we missed each other’s birthday or decided to just eat the same thing (rice and sambal and fried tempe) on special days - I’d lose myself in a puddle of “what-was-wrong”. Maybe it was the financial situation, maybe we did not make enough time, maybe it was just unbearable to see each other - too many maybes. I could stand birthdays, but family celebration? That’s one thing.

For many Indonesian families, a gathering is an annual competition to show “who gets married this year” or “how much salary that your son/daughter makes?”. It is also the time of the year where some people could have the audacity to judge your look, your salary, where you live, where you work, your partner, how prudent you are in your religion, and the list goes on… Funny how on the last Idul Fitri gathering on zoom, after I got married, my aunts, cousins, and uncles who usually forgot about me suddenly remembered to invite me. It was part of the reasons why I’m not happy about gatherings and holidays. Another reason is how religious celebrations triggered some aching memories. For over half the years of my life, my parents tried so hard to look okay in front of the extended family. If you look at the family album, everybody was smiling, posing in front of my grandparents’ house after the Idul Fitri prayer. But once we went back to our home, they took off their masks. They were not the only ones tired of having to pretend to be happy.

I think it’s important to acknowledge how painful the holiday season could be.

For others who left their home for good, holidays is not about reuniting with your family’s signature meal. It’s about making new rituals with your new family that you’ve found along your journey. Beb, there is a reason why places like Bali are full of escapees. The disappointed souls, the bullied kids, the queer-enjoying a big pot of Indomie with the friends they call family at a nearby villa.

For others who lost their family member(s) or friend(s), there’s no longer joy in holidays. Wasn’t it just last August where Indonesians would see tons of grieving updates on Instagram stories? Tell me, how do you find happiness after losing someone?

As the holiday season is coming, we are unpacking our memories through Christmas decorations and past rituals. Gripping our tickets tight like the last memories we had. Making sense of how celebrations, now, should be - as if it made sense.

In this season of aching…

of mourning…

of grieving….

I could not offer you much, but I hope that you find warmth in whichever way you choose to celebrate the holiday; alone, with a family, with your chosen family. I hope you find it wherever you decide to spend it. I hope things get a little easier with time.

Here are two recipes by Astrid Reza. She shared her recipes of Sop Brenebon, the signature Christmas dish of Eastern Indonesia (especially in Manadonese families), and Ayam Goreng Saos Inggris, a classic Cantonese meal easily spotted in Chinese restaurants. I hope that these two meals could ignite warmth and comfort for you.

Astrid Reza is a historian, a translator, a mother, a daughter, a vagabond, and a homemaker. Read her translation of Dari Kamp ke Kamp, the memoir of Mia Bustam, a prominent female voice in Indonesia’s art and politic. Also, read an interview with Astrid Reza on the importance of women's voice in history. Check Astrid’s Reza holistic care and astrology reading here.

SOP BRENEBON IGA SAPI

The Indonesian-Dutch version of Dutch Bruine bonen. The Dutch version is sultry and thick, while Brenebon is lighter with a hint of freshly grated nutmeg. You can use pork feet and meat for a soup that has silky shine, but feel free to use beef rib like this version.

for 3 - 5

What you need

2 to 3 ounces of beef ribs

Kacang Merah (kidney beans) - if dry, soaked overnight.

Carrots

Potatoes

optional: squash of choice (labu, sesuai selera)

White/yellow onions* (2 medium White or Yellow onions)

Garlic*

Butter or mentega

Rosemary

Tomatoes

Green onions

Salt and pepper

AYAM GORENG SAUS INGGRIS

The crispy fried chicken is glazed in Saus Inggris or Worcestershire sauce. Despite the origin, this sauce is used in this famous Indonesian - Cantonese dish. This sweet, savoury chicken is a must when you go to a Chinese restaurant in Indonesia.

What you need (Astrid originally did not put any measurement, this measurement comes from my experience of making Ayam Saus Inggris with Astrid’s guide using 1 whole small chicken)

2 pieces of chicken breast (1 whole chicken breast) or 1 whole small chicken.

1/2 Yellow/white onions.

5 Shallots.

3 Garlic.

Black pepper.

3 tbsp Saus Inggris (Worchestershire sauce)

1 - 2 tbsp Kecap manis

Mentega (or butter)

Tepung sagu (Sagoo starch - It’s the best choice get that crunch texture, but maybe if you cannot find Sagoo starch, you could use Potato starch as a substitute)

Keffir lime

*I marinated the chicken for 1 night because I did not want to rush myself the next day. If you follow this marination process, it goes like this:

1 tbsp of soy sauce, a tiny pinch of salt, black pepper, and lime juice - mix the chopped chicken with all of these, massage, and let it stay for 1 night in a container in the fridge. You can marinate it for 30 minutes or up to 1 day. Then, follow the process starting by coating the chicken with some starch, and everything goes like what’s written below

Special thanks to Harry for asking the question about Christmas in Indonesia and to everyone, including Bu Ice, Lulu, Rian, Devina, and all my friends on Instagram - that answered my text, sharing with me their family meals. Happy holidays!

Monggo sakeca’aken,

Prinka of Dapur Saraswati